Hamsters

Today I went with a friend to the new Home Center downtown. There was a fantastic petland full of cute dogs and bunnies and fish and parakeets and guinea pigs and beetles and HAMSTERS.

They were absolutely adorable! The sign said not to put your hand in because they bite, but the lady working there didn't say anything when she saw me put my hand into the first hamster aquarium, so we went ahead and played with practically every hamster in the place. Some didn't seem to notice when we touched them, but this fat gray one turned its head around and glared at us, seeming to say "Leave me alone! Can't you see I'm busy burrowing??" It glared every time we touched it. If it weren't 3o bucks, I would have bought it on the spot. We must have spent more than an hour playing with hamsters.

I want a hamster. No, not one hamster. I want a whole bunch of hamsters. They're so cute!

But after asking the lady working about how many babies they pop out, it got a little scary. Apparently 2 hamsters can have about 30 babies a year. So in a few years, how many hamsters does that make?

Year One - 30 hamsters. Let's say 15 girls and 15 boys, and the next year they all have babies, too. And just for simplicity's sake, let's say the parents die after a year.

Year Two - 450 hamsters. Now that's a lot of hamsters in just a couple years. A few aquariums filled to the brim with hamsters?

Year Three - 6750 hamsters. I might need to convert one room into a hamster playroom.

Year Four - 101,250 hamsters. Not only have we grown way past infestation level, but the previous hamsters would be dying off and I'd need a shovel to pile them up in the backyard for burning.

Holy cow. Perhaps I don't want hamsters.